...do as the Romans do.

Have you ever heard that saying? It dates back almost 2000 years, to St Ambrose in the fourth century.

The message is clear - when you're in someone else's house/town/country, act in accordance with their laws and customs, not your own.

Simple, eh? You've been invited to their place, so you abide by what they want. You can't ask fairer than that, and we demand it inside our homes and castles, so why should it be any different for tourists? If you're going to Yellowstone Park in USA, you wouldn't expect to be able to cook a hangi in their hot water pools, would you? If you go to Paris, you wouldn't bother demanding the shops stock L&P, would you?

The rule has stood the test of time, but it stopped working a few years ago.

It has now reached the point that the rule is being changed to "When in Rome, ask what the Chinese want."

I call bullshit on it.

If Chinese people want to come and visit us, that's great, but you WILL be required to drive on the left-hand side of the road; if you drive on your Weetbix-box licence and cause death, you will be found responsible; if you're arriving here with fruit and don't declare it, you will be fined; finally, if you're in New Zealand, you don't get to spit in rubbish bins:

If a Kiwi goes overseas, it is incumbent on the Kiwi to be aware of the other country's laws. For instance, who would expect using Buddha in advertising for a bar could land you in jail? This bloke didn't know the law and got a year in jail for his trouble. It gets better in China, because they are one of several South East Asian countries who will fry you if you get caught being naughty. From caning for graffiti in Singapore, to the death penalty in most states, travelling in Asia means you'd better bloody well act as the Asians do, because if you get charged with a crime, you are definitely going to pay.

Accordingly, the idea that we should be nice to them because they have money is a huge cop-out load of crap.

We're inviting them here with easy visas and fully-escorted tours so they never have to sour their tongues with English, so the responsibility to act as guests is all theirs.

Do as the bloody Kiwis do - do not be asking us to modify our behaviour.

Besides which, 90% of Chinese tourists never so much as speak to a Kiwi for their entire trip.

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