On the odd occasion when I watch TV, particularly the American kind, one thing strikes me time after time.
It is perfectly acceptable to show people beating each other up, on the proviso that the beating is the good guy getting a bit of a whipping before going on to beat the shit out of the bad guy/s.
But don’t you DARE show so much as an areola!! Nipples are O-U-T out and pussy is only ever a cat.
At this time, the White House and its lunatic inhabitants have started an enormous and infinitely-funded campaign for chastity, asking Hollywood to try and change the emphasis away from sex.
I have already read that the number of feature films needing an adult rating has reduced drastically since GWB and his minions seized power
Yet mainstream American TV is already puritanical to the point of nausea.
The trend has been evident for some time as the great biblical cleansing of American morals takes place thanks to the almighty power of right-wing USA and their churches.
Meanwhile cops vs robbers programs abound on the small screen. How many people die, are maimed or merely beaten on an average TV week? I have no idea, but I can tell you exactly how many tits you will see in prime time – zero.
Surely this is a great lesson all American children are being taught. Violence is ok, but nudity and sex are bad.
Fine for Americans maybe, but NOT the message I want to see delivered to my kids, or me.
I want to see less violence and more sex. Sex is good. We see every day ads for viagra for the funny men who can’t get it up and we have just legalised prostitution, but our television screens portray an almost Victorian prudishness. (I accept that V One does show nudity and have profane language, but nobody under 80 watches the channel)
People worry about sex and young adults. Why?
I am not in the least moment concerned about my kids having sex. They are armed with complete knowledge of sex, contraception and disease. I like to think they are also armed with enough common sense to deal with it.
And if sex on TV equates to more unwed mothers and STDs, then surely the violence being portrayed dozens of times daily means we are going to swap a few doses of the clap and couple of bastards for a large load of very bad bastards! Well known puritans such as Adolf Hitler would have approved enormously.
The female breast is one of the most magnificent organs of all nature. Warm, cuddly, suckable, life-giving and sexy as hell. A perfectly formed breast is one the true wonders of the Earth.
Thanks to most Kiwi chicks having a completely correct "f**k-you" attitude to anyone who objects to them whipping a breast out in public for a demand feed for her baby, breasts are pretty visible in New Zealand.
Breast sex is a frequently requested service from prostitutes. (and no, I haven't asked for it, but a prostitute friend of mine assures me this is true!)
Boobs come in all shapes and sizes, natural or synthetic, brown, pink, black or white. Along with many other of mankind's very favourite things, the mammary gland of humans are referred to by dozens of nicknames, some local, some international. Feel free to e mail complete lists.
They are often covered in sexy lingerie, making them sexier still, and I don’t personally know any non-gay males who doesn’t just love tits.
You can even express tits perfectly on a computer…..
What else could ( o )( o ) be other than a pair of tits, with anything from (o)(o) being tiny little ones with big nipples, to ( o )( o ) being a gigantic pair of probably silicon-enhanced ones.
Never mind bloody Buck, Bring Back Boobs!!
Put boobs back where they belong, in our faces.
Copyright © Alan Charman