Periodic Table, elementary..... 

As kids, we learn the periodic table of elements. 

Unless you end up as a chemist, this is pretty useless information, although it can be handy if on a tv game-show. 

Wouldn’t it make far more sense to teach kids about THIS periodic table? 

Key: 

PPM1 = Pre-premenstrual syndrome, category 1. Causes anxiety, short-temperedness, general depression and lack of energy. 

PPM2 = Pre-premenstrual syndrome, category 2. As above, but with higher levels of anxiety. Hot flushes and episodes of anger may occur. Symptomatic severity increases toward the peak, shifting to the PM stage. 

PM = Full-blown premenstrual syndrome. Frequent episodes of anger, depression and tiredness. Usually occurs at weekends. 

P = Period. May experience physical symptoms from mild discomfort to severe abdominal pain. Often depressed or tired, or both. 

P + A = P as above + anger, extreme anger, so much anger you'd better not bloody mention it!!!

T/I = Tiredness & Irritability stage. Usually short of energy and patience. May be snappy and on-edge most of the time. 

T/I/K = Similar to above, but worsened at weekends by constant presence of kid/s. Often prone to irrational outbursts of anger at all and sundry.

T/I/K/H = Same as above, but accentuated by a period of extreme horniness, most often at 10 or 11 pm on Sunday night. 

PPPMP = Post period/Pre-premenstrual Pause. Usually categorised by dissatisfaction with surroundings and family, occasional outbursts of anger.

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