31 March
The world's shortest-ever Catholic confession took place yesterday; apparently His Holiness Pope Frankie, went to confess his sins [?!], just at some ordinary Catholic church nearby.
What the hell has he got confess to?
"Forgive me father, for I have sinned... I almost felt jealous of a person for a split-second yesterday."
Or maybe, "Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I have taken over a church beset by paedophilia, corruption, greed and lack of humility and am trying to turn it into a modern, caring organisation."
I hate that guy!
Almost 40 years of attacking the Roman Catholic Church and they appoint a goddamned Jesuit to the job.
Crikey, I was rubbing my hands in glee at the thought of the church appointing 500 exorcists a week and preaching hellfire from the pulpits, but it just ain't happening. We were coming off the delicious irony of the Nazi Pope, Herr RatZZinger, who was good for a laugh for his entire reign. But instead of a fire-breathing Jesuit, we have a namby-pampby, liberal, feed-the-poor, genuine good bloke at the helm!
I'll have to set my sights lower and start attacking fundies, because the only thing I disagree with this present pope on is the existence of the sky-fairy, and when you're as good a bloke as Frankie is, I couldn't care less.
Fundies are just so damned easy. There's nothing to debate or argue there - those guys are straight-out insane.
Copyright © Alan Charman