There's more and more evidence every day that the only god humans actually care about is Mammon - the One True God.

Auckland Grammar is, for some reason completely unknown to me, a highly desirable to send your kids to. Located in one of the more expensive suburbs of Auckland, it has tradition stretching back well over a century of turning boys into rugby players and even tops the list of schools which have produced the most All Blacks. Graham Henry was deputy head there and the legendary D J Graham was headmaster for many years.

It was D J Graham who famously commented that Maori would always be failures because their culture was to be lazy. That didn't go down too well in the '80s even, and I think he'd be lynched today, but it does neatly display the elitism of Auckland Grammar.

The attitude to coons is different if they are really, really good at rugby, and that segues neatly back into the prime subject here: how to get your kid accepted at AGS?

There are four ways to get a kid into the school:

1 Live in the area. If you have $2,000,000 spare, you should be ok. In Auckland Grammar zone, that will buy you a small three-bedroomed house. If you can find one.
2 Have a parent, sibling or grandparent who attended Grammar. That gets you a free pass. Of course!
3 Be really, really good at rugby. Or cricket. They do also accept extreme brainiacs.
4 Go in the ballot for places.

Some schools run a ballot where parents - who would like their kids to go to a school but don't meet qualifying criteria - put their names forward and a dozen or so are drawn out at random. Those people can then send their kid to Grammar.

Whoopee!

Some people treat an AGS ballot like Lotto, believing they've won some pass to success by winning their kid a place at Grammar. From my perspective, big fucking deal. Some of, no, strike that - most of the worst losers I know went to Auckland Grammar. Unemployable career dole bludgers litter AGS alumni, along with outright criminals and some captains of industry. Yes, and bloody All Blacks.

It's at this stage I won't even bother mentioning the teacher who got convicted a few months ago for being caught in his classroom, by one of his pupils, jacking off over porno on his computer.

No matter how I see it, people out there are desperate to get access to this famous school. So desperate in fact they are beginning to but tickets, just like Lotto.

The school (and Cornwall Park Primary), in one of the most corrupt pieces of blatant gouging I've ever seen, has introduced a fee to enable parents to go in the ballot. That's right - you have to stump up $50 or $75 just to have your name put in the hat!

Grammar even give a nice example of 500 applications and 15 places. It's simple to see that 500 applicants at fifty bucks a pop comes out to $25,000.

The school claims there are costs involved, and I call bullshit on that. The school does nothing at all beyond drawing 15 names. No time, no administration, nothing. Yet they're charging twenty five grand to "allow" parents to enter the ballot.

Just to put that in perspective, the school donation sought at decile 1 schools is not more than $50, and few parents pay even that little amount. Decile 1 schools can collect as little as $2000 in total school donations for entire year, yet here we have AGS charging $25k of fees just from people who want to send their kids there.

That twenty-five grand would be a gift from the gods. The poor bloody headmaster at Bairds Mainfreight Primary (yes, the school is sponsored by Mainfreight) would think he'd died and gone to heaven if someone gave him $25k to spend on his kids, and it's a bloody good school! Decile one, of course, in Otara. The only buildings worth a million bucks in Otara are churches.

Take a look at Bairds Primary here. Note that if you see a white face, it's a teacher.

The only crime those kids have committed is to be born to parents who are not very wealthy. As a result, we stick them in an under-resourced school where the highlight of their education is a day-trip to Waiheke Island. In comparison, the school my kids attend is decile 10 and their furthest school trip is to Wisconsin. USA.

The worship of Mammon has reached ridiculous heights and it's getting worse. I've pointed out many times that inequality is a disaster in the making, and places like Auckland Grammar are helping perpetuate the cycle of abuse - of the poor - by smarmily taking fifty dollar bribes from every parent who wants their kid to go to whiter-than-white* Auckland Grammar. (*Asians and rugby players excepted)

What the hell are we doing, New Zealand?

 

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